Hey Friend,

It's been a (another) week. I very rarely send two emails within a few days and even more rarely send emails on Fridays, but it felt important to send this message today.

Over the first nine weeks of the year, I have heard at least one of the following sentiments in almost every call I have had with leaders:

“People seem more reactive than they used to be.”

“Small issues escalate into big emotional situations.”

“I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”

“Everyone is burned out, and I don’t know how hard to push.”

“Feedback conversations feel harder than they used to.”

"I don't want to be the therapist for my team."

“Things that used to be normal workplace tension now feel like full-blown crises.”

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If you’ve been noticing some version of this in yourself or on your team, you’re not imagining it.

The ground has shifted.

Layoffs. Political tension. Cultural division. Economic uncertainty. Burnout. Blatant injustice. The lingering effects of the pandemic. Teams that have changed shape multiple times in just a few years.

Whether we like it or not, all of that shows up at work. And when the ground shifts like this, I tend to see leaders reacting in a few predictable ways.

Avoidance.​
We start tiptoeing around issues. Deadlines slip. Feedback doesn’t happen. Accountability quietly disappears because nobody wants to make things worse.

Overcorrection.​
Some leaders swing in the opposite direction. They tighten control, increase monitoring, and try to manage every detail. The intention is stability, but it often creates more tension instead.

Overempathizing.
​Leaders see how much their teams are carrying and respond with compassion — which is the right instinct. But sometimes empathy drifts into lowered expectations, unclear standards, or tolerance for things that aren’t actually working.

Quick fixes.​
“Let’s do a morale event.” “Maybe we need a wellness speaker.” “Let’s do a communication training.”

Alright, back to my point. None of those four reactions is inherently bad. Avoiding unnecessary escalation, showing empathy, creating stability, and trying to boost morale often are a result of good leadership instincts.

But when uncertainty or volatility shows up, and these become our only responses, we often end up treating symptoms rather than the underlying conditions.

Don't worry, there's good news and hope here.

When leaders tell me their teams are more reactive, conflict-prone, or emotionally charged, they're usually crying inside (and sometimes outside) but I don't actually hear that their people have suddenly become more difficult or that a team is irreparably broken.

I actually hear that the cultural conditions that normally help regulate tension have weakened.

And while people's behavior is usually outside of our locus of control, cultural conditions are something we can influence!

The workplaces that navigate stress, conflict, and pressure most effectively tend to have a few key ingredients in place:

• Trust in all directions. Up, down, and sideways across teams.
• Clarity and predictability. People know what matters, what’s expected, and how decisions get made.
• Psychological safety. People can speak up, disagree, or raise concerns without fear of humiliation or retaliation.
• Emotional intelligence and tolerance. Leaders and teams can navigate, support, and de-escalate big emotions without escalating them.
• Conflict and feedback competence. People know how to address tension (for themselves and others) before it turns into resentment or explosions.

These are the types of conditions that stabilize teams when everything feels more heightened.

And when they aren't present, emotional escalation (or the potential for it) increases.

The good news?

These are learnable skills and not-too-difficult-to-implement cultural practices.

If work culture, team dynamics, or interpersonal relationships feel harder than ever, here are five questions to start with:

1. Where might trust be thinning or strained right now, and what would help rebuild it? Use the Trust Factor.
2. Where are expectations or priorities unclear? Where can we minimize ambiguity? Check out our Minimizing Ambiguity Checklist.
3. Where might people feel unsafe speaking up, disagreeing, or asking for help?
4. Where are emotions getting bigger than the container we currently have for them?
5. Where are conflicts, feedback, or frustrations going unspoken for too long? Download our Conflict Competence Skills Inventory​

These questions alone can open powerful conversations. But if you still feel stuck and don't know what to do first, these are the first five verbs (actions) I want you to lean into:

Clarify. Make expectations, priorities, and decisions easier to understand.

Listen. Create space for people to share what they’re experiencing without jumping straight to solutions.

Name. Surface tensions, patterns, and impacts before they grow. Make the implicit explicit.

Support. Give people tools, feedback, and guidance to meet expectations.

Repair. Address conflict and mistakes directly so trust can be rebuilt.

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None of this requires perfection, huge budgets, or years-long initiatives. Small, consistent moves within the ecosystem can radically and pretty quickly change how teams experience stress, conflict, and accountability.

I see it happen all the time.

• A conversation that was avoided finally happens, and the world doesn't end.
• A team names what’s been unspoken for years (sometimes decades) and opportunity opens.
• Someone learns how to give feedback without fear, and growth is finally possible.
• A leader apologizes for unintentional harm, and people begin to trust them more.
• A team member takes a deep breath before exploding in a difficult meeting, and the whole environment shifts.

These aren’t dramatic, movie-worthy moments (though I think they should be!). But they are the types of shifts that turn tense workplaces into healthy ones.

These outcomes are absolutely within reach for you, for your team, and for your organization.

If you need help going deeper, this is exactly the work we do. If you're looking for a coach, advisor, facilitator, mediator, or cheerleader, please reach out. We'd love to help.

With love,
Marissa

PSSST - Have you registered for the Joy & Possibility of Disagreement Workshop yet? Join us!!