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Hey Friend!
Happy (?) Tuesday! Not sure about you, but life feels like a lot right now. I'd love to hear how you're doing (for real). Shoot me a quick update and share what song or book title best represents your current mood.
Mine: We Can Do Hard Things by Tish Melton crossed with Fight Song by Rachel Platten.
This is the fifth of six installments about Reloveution and how we can support you and your team in the second half of the year (and beyond). Today, I'm going to share more about our conflict transformation services. Read on for an overview, a story, some testimonials, and a few tips and tricks. Be sure to scroll down to the end for a free tool and special offer!
Overview: Conflict Transformation Services
Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of any dynamic workplace or team, and yet, it is often viewed as a problem to be fixed or avoided. At Reloveution, we see conflict as a powerful opportunity. When it comes up, it’s not a sign to run away but a signal that something needs attention, alignment, or repair.
As a certified Workplace Conflict Mediator with deep expertise in restorative justice and peacemaking practices, I help leaders and teams navigate tough conversations, repair trust, and build the capacity to handle tension with clarity, courage, and compassion. Because with the right support and tools, conflict can become a doorway to healing rather than destruction.
Whether you're addressing a specific interpersonal challenge or building long-term conflict capacity across your organization, our Conflict Transformation offerings are designed to meet you where you and your team are (and where you’d like to be).
What might conflict look like at work?
Conflict doesn’t always manifest as shouting matches or formal complaints (though these things definitely do happen!). More often, it’s quieter but just as impactful. Here are a few ways conflict might be showing up in your organization or team right now:
👀 What it might look like:
- Repeated misunderstandings or dropped balls between team members
- Passive-aggressive communication, sarcasm, or tension in meetings
- Leadership or staff avoiding tough conversations
- Decreased collaboration, engagement, or psychological safety
- Frequent “triangulation” (talking about people instead of to them)
- Silence during feedback sessions or team check-ins
- Frequent gossip and rumors
👂What it might sound like:
- “I just don’t trust them anymore.”
- “We’ve talked about this a hundred times, and nothing changes.”
- “I’m walking on eggshells.”
- “They never listen to me.”
- “We’re not on the same page, but I don’t want to make it worse.”
- “It’s not a big deal; I’ll just deal with it.”
- “We’re fine.” (said in a very not-fine tone)
Conflict is rarely just about what’s being said and often about what’s not being said. Our work involves surfacing tensions in a safe and supported way, allowing them to be addressed with clarity, care, and accountability.
Specific Conflict Transformation Services
Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP)
A self-assessment that helps individuals and teams understand their default conflict styles and emotional triggers. Best used before conflict escalates or to build self-awareness ahead of collaboration or coaching.
1:1 Facilitated Dialogues
A safe, neutral space for two people to work through unresolved tension they haven’t been able to navigate on their own. Perfect when communication is breaking down and the relationship needs repair.
Team Conflict Transformation
A customized process to help teams work through tension, rebuild trust, and move forward with shared agreements. Ideal when conflict is hurting morale, performance, or retention, and you need more than a team-building session.
Workshops & Trainings
Interactive sessions that develop real-life conflict transformation skills, including giving feedback, de-escalation, communication, and repair. Great for teams looking to grow their conflict competence before things boil over, after a tough season, or before big changes.
Leader Advisory
Personalized behind-the-scenes coaching and advisory to help leaders and managers transform conflict on their teams. Best for when you're navigating a tough conversation or holding tension on your team and need a sounding board.
Organizational Conflict Systems Consulting
Longer-term support to build fair, trauma-informed systems for handling conflict across your organization. Use this when you’re ready to stop reacting to tension and start embedding a culture of accountability and care.
Conflict Transformation Story
(Names changed to preserve anonymity)
When Abe was placed on a performance improvement plan, it felt like the beginning of the end. A senior leader in the organization, she had always prided herself on delivering results, but the past year had been tense. Her relationship with her manager, Zed, had deteriorated to the point of silence, avoidance, and what others described as “palpable” friction.
Rather than write Abe off, the organization made a different choice: they invested in coaching with Reloveution.
During our initial sessions, it became clear that Abe's performance issues weren’t rooted in capability or will, but in long-standing, unspoken conflict between her and Zed. Mistrust had built over time. Both had stories about each other they’d never shared, assumptions they’d never challenged, and moments of harm that had gone unnamed and unhealed.
Once we discovered this, we began a new process that involved Zed. We began by having each of them complete the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) and participate in one-on-one debriefs to reflect on how their conflict tendencies were showing up and impacting the situation.
Not surprisingly, the assessments revealed strikingly different conflict styles—Abe leaned toward direct expression and confrontation, while Zed often avoided conflict and suppressed emotion until it became resentment. The CDP reports provided each leader with language to describe their behaviors, increased awareness of their emotional triggers, and insight into how they might be misreading one another.
With that foundation, we then brought the conversation to physical space. Reloveution facilitated four hours of dialogue between Abe & Zed across two days. This was the hard part, and the healing part.
They named the stories they’d been carrying. Things like:
“It doesn't feel like you have faith in me.”
“I got frustrated because we weren’t understanding each other.”
“I’ve stopped bringing things to you because I assumed you wouldn’t listen.”
With our guidance and support, Abe & Zed said the hard things, but stayed in it. They practiced active listening, non-defensive response, and naming harm without blame. They made amends. They moved from reactivity to reflection, and from silence to shared responsibility. And then, they co-created a simple, clear plan for moving forward.
After a few weeks, Abe was removed from the performance improvement plan, and both leaders reported feeling more equipped to handle future conflict with courage, clarity, and care. Perhaps most importantly, both leaders expressed feeling “seen” and “respected” throughout the process.
Both Abe and Zed still have work to do and are in the early phases of experimenting with new approaches, but Reloveution will be there for them every step of the way.
We can be there for you too...
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Testimonials
"Reloveution came in to help our team learn how to work together and function more effectively as a collective. We had the opportunity to engage with colleagues in a safe environment and learned that each member of our team brought a unique backstory and skill set that strengthens our work together. Marissa is an incredible facilitator of difficult conversations, and we were able to successfully build a foundation of mutual understanding and trust that serves to benefit our working relationships."
- K.F., Program Manager
"This experience has been very eye-opening. Before meeting Marissa, I had minimal understanding of restorative justice or conflict resolution. Now, I feel like I’m opened to a whole new world of possibilities with my colleagues and my students (and even my kids at home!)."
- A.D., Lead Teacher & Administrator
Ready to invest in conflict transformation support for yourself, your team, or your organization? Book a connection call to discuss how we can help!
Tips & Tricks for Building Conflict-Competent Teams
- Normalize Conflict as a Signal, Not a Shame. Conflict isn’t a failure, but it’s a sign that something needs attention. Create a culture where naming tension is safe and expected.
- Make Feedback Frequent and Low-Stakes. Encourage bite-sized feedback in the moment to prevent resentment from building. The more regular the practice, the less scary it becomes.
- Build Self-Awareness Around Conflict Styles. Everyone responds to conflict differently. Help your team understand their default patterns and how those impact others. Tools like the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) can spark great reflection.
- Create Courageous Space Agreements. Establish clear expectations for how your team handles difficult conversations. A few simple commitments can guide behavior and increase trust during tense moments.
- Don’t Wait Until It’s on Fire. The best time to build conflict skills is before things explode. Invest in learning, dialogue, or outside support proactively, not just in emergencies.
Tool for Today: The REPAIR Framework
Even small moments of harm, if left unaddressed, can quietly erode trust, connection, and psychological safety over time. Whether you’ve unintentionally caused harm, missed the mark in a conversation, or contributed to team tension, making amends is a powerful way to rebuild relationships and restore integrity. The REPAIR framework provides a clear and compassionate path for doing just that.
Bookmark or download our signature REPAIR Framework here.
Special Offer: Complimentary Conflict Dynamics Profile Assessment & Debrief
We're excited to offer one lucky reader the opportunity to get a FREE Conflict Dynamics Profile Assessment and 60-minute debrief. Anyone who responds after the first one is eligible to receive the assessment and debrief for just $99 (usually $299). Just reply to this email :-)
Thanks for reading this far! I'll catch you next week with more deets about our Burnout Prevention and Professional Well-Being work! In the meantime, I'd love to connect with you! Book a connection call here.
With love and gratitude,
Marissa
Upcoming Public Experiences & Events
Changemaker (Re)Boot Camp
August 21-24 | Stony Point Center, Stony Point, NY
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