Reflections on Freedom & Tips for the Long Weekend

Hey There!

I hope you're gearing up for a lovely and cool-enough long weekend! As my American readers know, this weekend is July 4th and the United States' 250th birthday. Like many, I'm approaching the festivities with some skepticism, grief, and pause.

This weekend, I will absolutely lean into and celebrate the people in my life, the beauty of this country's land and diversity, and the ongoing, unfinished project of becoming a more just and free society. I can be grateful for the activists, organizers, and everyday people who have given so much to expand access and opportunity for all, and for the abundant freedoms and disproportionate privileges I do have and don't take for granted.

Plus, I love fireworks more than anyone probably should and was definitely happily hootin' and hollerin' when the US won in the knockout stages of the World Cup last night! #notaredcard

But I also want to hold the complicated reality that freedom has never been equally distributed, and that for many people and communities in this country (and many people reading this email) the gap between what "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" promises and what it actually delivers is still very, very wide.

It's been 250 years of independence, but the reality of who gets to be really, fully, safely free is still very much a promise, and not a guarantee.

The distance between independence and liberation still depends, at least in part, on who you are, who you love, what you look like, where you're from, the ZIP code you call home, how your body/brain functions, and where you stand.

When I think about liberation, I think about the need and responsibility to interrupt the harmful paradigms, systems, and narratives that hold so many of us back. The structures that keep us tethered to a status quo that includes some and excludes others, that serves some and harms others, that celebrates and rewards some and shames and punishes others.

And I'm reminded that this upcoming long weekend presents an opportunity to do exactly that kind of interruption. Starting with ourselves.

Earlier this week, I facilitated a workshop titled "Pause on Purpose: Planning a Summer That Actually Restores You," during which we explored what it means to truly disconnect, what it takes to reset our nervous systems, and what gets in our way. The truth is, most of us were never taught to rest or take care of ourselves. We were taught to earn our breaks, to wait until everything is done, and to feel guilty the moment we stop producing or decide to step away. And yes, this is connected to freedom.

The same systems and narratives we're trying to disrupt "out there" have a way of living inside us too. I'd argue that learning to rest, disconnect, and care for our full selves (for real) is part of how we build pathways towards liberty and justice for all (see: Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey).

A culture that conditions you to feel guilty for resting is a culture that benefits from your exhaustion.

A society that tells you to martyr yourself for your work, your family, or your movement has confused sacrifice with virtue. And you can bet that it is a society that needs people to stay depleted so that others can stay comfortable.

A country that uplifts and rewards the grind and hustle will not give you permission to stop. You don't need permission from anyone but yourself. Give it.

Soooo....on that note, here are a few important reminders before the weekend kicks off:

Rest is not a reward for finishing and slowing down is not the same as falling behind. You deserve rest and restoration independent of your output, inbox, or anyone's approval (including your toddler's).
You're allowed to reject the old, handed-down stories that link your worth to your productivity (or ability to make all the BBQ foods from scratch).
Your nervous system does not know the difference between a deadline and a threat. It just knows it hasn't gotten a break in a while. Give it one (yes, even if the dishes aren't done).
Choosing restoration over work or overdelivering, even for a weekend, is a quiet act of resistance against a culture that often values your output over your humanity.
Liberation starts somewhere. It might as well start with you this weekend. You have permission to put something down (even if it's just one thing for fifteen minutes while you're hiding in the bathroom).

***

Here are a few prompts to help you plan a weekend that not only restores you but also moves all of us a little closer to real freedom and liberation:

  1. Name the feeling, not the activity. Don't just plan what you'll do this weekend and how you'll fill your time. Ask how you want to feel over the weekend and how you want to feel when you return to your desk on Monday or Tuesday. Restored? Unhurried? Connected? Present? Joyful? Calm? Energized? How you want to feel is the anchor for decision-making around what you're going to do, and you'll find that you might make very different choices if you're aiming to manifest calm versus connection or joy.
  2. Name your priorities, not tasks. You might want to prioritize quality time with your family or a few hours alone without anyone asking you for anything. You might want to prioritize spending time in nature or making time to be creative. Deciding on your one or two priorities (and NEVER more than three) gives yourself something to say, "YES!" to. Use this template to determine your priorities for this weekend: "I'm going to prioritize _____ not _____." Then, give yourself permission. That's it.
  3. Remember that the size or length of your pause/break/restoration time matters less than what you do with it. Five intentional minutes, repeated throughout the weekend, can restore you more than a full unintentional day off. Restoration is about quality of attention, not quantity of time.

Interested in extra insight on this topic You might also be interested in this powerful new episode of ChatGMB with Blessing Unchendu, LCSW on not being able to outthink your nervous system. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Wishing you a weekend of feeling the feelings YOU want and saying yes to the things YOU want to prioritize.

Let freedom RING!!

With love,
Marissa

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