I've been thinking a lot about consent and segmenting. So, before I share today's musings, I want to point you to the "update your profile" link at the bottom of this email. If you don't want to receive all my emails or want to get more specific about what you hear from me, please update your preferences. If the cadence and content of what I usually share feel right, no need to do anything! Just read on!!

Okay, so...Hi Reader!

It's apparently May! And the last four months have been...[insert literally any adjective here]. Full. Confusing. Exciting. Demoralizing. Joyful. Interesting. Gratifying. Terrifying. I've felt all of those things and more. You too? Yeaaaaah. Isn't being human fun?

On this week's podcast, I rambled about the 7 Bridges of Leadership Communication (listen on Apple ​Podcasts or Spotify). Here's the "short" version for you to bookmark!

Bridge communication is about addressing the gaps that show up constantly in leadership and teams, the moments when you can feel the distance between you and another person, and you're not quite sure how to close it. Differences in perspective, fear of rocking the boat, lack of information or clarity, big emotions that take up all the air — these are just a few of the types of gaps we need bridges for. And they happen every day.

Before you can build any bridge, you need two things:

1. Agreement on the problem you're trying to solve; and
2. Agreement on mutual verbs and the shared commitments you're holding.

The first agreement sounds simple, but it is harder than we think. When a conversation gets tense or stuck, most of us assume we know what the problem is. But so often, we're solving for different things without realizing it. One person is trying to process disappointment. Another is trying to move forward. One person wants to be heard. Another wants to reach a decision. And so on...

Until you name the actual problem out loud and confirm you're both solving for the same thing, building a bridge is really hard because you're standing on and building towards different shores. So what can we do?

To align, we can say something like:

"Before we go further, I want to make sure we're clear on what we're trying to figure out together. The way I'm seeing the problem is ___. How are you seeing it?"

Deceptively simple and yet so easy to just not do!

The second agreement is about your mutual verbs, and this is a step so many people miss entirely. "Update" is a verb. "Support" is a verb. But so are "share perspective," "advocate," and "brainstorm." And those are very different things. If you walk into a conversation thinking your verb is "update," and the other person's verb is "advocate," you're already not on the same page. Getting explicit about what you're each there to do and what's actually possible in this conversation creates shared ground to build a bridge from.

Here's the core reframe that makes bridge-building possible: bridge communication is about us against the problem, not us against each other. When you can make that shift - from "I need to win this" to "we need to solve this together," the whole conversation changes. The tension might not disappear. The current between you might still be strong. But at least you're building in the same direction.

Here's what this looks like in practice. Let's say you're going into a meeting to communicate a decision that's already been made by leadership, by the board, or by someone "above" you. The person reacts poorly. They push back hard, sharing all the reasons this is a bad decision, why it wasn't thought through, and why it's going to cause real problems. And you're sitting there knowing the decision isn't changing, feeling the energy getting stronger with every exchange.

Underneath the surface, here's what's actually happening: they think the problem is "is this a good decision?" and their verb is "advocate for change." You know the decision isn't yours to revisit, so your problem is "how do I get buy-in?" and your verb is "update and support implementation." Neither of you has named any of that out loud. So you're talking past each other, and things start spiraling. Turns out, it's really hard to build a bridge in a storm.

Laying the foundation in this situation might sound like:

*Quick note...don't say anything that's not true.
If you are not in a position to advocate or you're sure the decision can't change, DO NOT SAY THIS.

That's a mouthful, and maybe you don't say it all in the same breath (adults only have an 8-second attention span after all).

But once you agree to the problem and your verbs, you can start building the bridge from big emotion to constructive response. Or from your perspective to theirs. Or from a hard truth to a relationship that can hold it.

Here are the seven bridges I want to help you build, one plank at a time. Each identifies the core gap, one strategy for beginning to build the bridge, and one language example so you can see and feel how bridge-building sounds.

Bridge 1: Emotion → Constructive Response. Name it to tame it. When big feelings are taking up all the air, briefly naming what's in the room, without drama, creates just enough space to keep moving. "I'm noticing some frustration here on both sides. Let's take a deep breath before we keep going."

Bridge 2: My Perspective → Their Perspective. Get genuinely curious before you get strategic. Ask about their constraints, not just their opinions. "What are you navigating on your end that I might not be seeing?"

Bridge 3: Hard Truth → Trusted Relationship. Lead with the relationship before you deliver the truth. Give people a reason to hear the "hard thing." "I'm telling you this because I respect you and I want you to succeed here."

Bridge 4: Ambiguity → Enough Clarity to Move. You don't need all the answers. You just need three sentences. "Here's what I know. Here's what I don't. Here's what we're doing in the meantime."

Bridge 5: Individual Need → Team Good. Name the tension directly instead of disappearing into the decision. Show your work. "I want to honor what you need, and I also have to think about the whole team. Here's how I'm holding both."

Bridge 6: Intent → Impact. Before you explain yourself, move toward impact first. "I'm realizing my intention and the impact were really different here, and the impact is what matters right now. I'm sorry that it landed that way. Can we talk about it?"

Bridge 7: Silence → Speech. Sometimes the only way to build this bridge is to go first."I've been noticing some tension on the team, and I'd rather surface it than pretend it isn't there. Can we talk about what's going on?"

None of these bridges is magic. None of them guarantees the conversation will go perfectly or even well. But when we get skilled at bridge-building in our communication, we have something concrete to reach across the gap with. And in leadership, that reaching and the willingness to start building even when you're not sure the other person will meet you halfway, is unbelievably powerful.

If you want to go deeper on any of these bridges, through coaching, a workshop, or a facilitated session for your team, this is exactly the work I do. Hit reply or book a connection call, and let's talk.

You are not alone, and I'm cheering you on!!

Marissa